Over the past couple of weeks...something weird has been happening to me. To help you understand this...I have to take you back a few years.

When my former mentors came against me for merely asking a question, I got hurt. these people were like my parents. I was very close to them...and I praise God for them because if God had not sent them into my life....I'm not sure where I would be as a Christian!

But I did get hurt....and as I result, I turned my back on alot of things.....or I should say...alot of people that they were promoting.

True...some of these people were teaching alot of things that I could not line up with, and still cannot line up with, Scripture....but in my pain.....I rejected all....the good and the bad.

Over time, God began tearing down everything I had been taught and rebuilding it - His way!

Now it is 3 and a half years later.....and I am beginning to pick up material by the people I had rejected. An example is Chuck Pierce and C. Peter Wagner. I have recently listened to several messages of Chuck Pierce and found myself agreeing with him! I couldn't find one Biblical contradiction in anything he said.....on the other hand....C. Peter Wagner....I have been reading a couple of his books, and while I can agree on some things...I still do not agree with him completely.

The point is....something is happening in me...and I believe that this is a sign of healing and forgiveness in my life.

I found this teaching by Frank Hammond, and it really struck home with me. I have been dealing with a spirit of rejection all of my life, and this teaching shed alot of light on what was going on....and how to be free from the Spirit of Rejection.

Click here to begin listening....



For more information about Frank and Ida Mae Hammond please visit the website at: http://www.thechildrensbread.net

Have you ever been at a place where you don't know where you're at, why and where you're going?

 

That is how I have been feeling lately.I got all of the "TheRoseAwakens" channel moved over to the "hinton4jesus" channel...and it has been bittersweet. I know I should have never started the channel in the first place, but it has become a part of me...and letting it go has been hard....but necessary.

 

Ever since the first of the year, I have felt God cleansing me of every thing that would be considered a compromise. To compromise means that you come into agreement with something. Example, let's say I am in invited to a "prayer "group made of all religions. Buddhists, Muslims, witches, Christians, etc. If I accept the invitation to join this "prayer" group, I have come into agreement with the beliefs of those other religions. I am giving my stamp of approval to them. As Christians, God has set certain standards for us.  

 

2 Corinthians 6:16-18 (NIV) 16 "What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people." 17 "Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you." 18 "I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty."  

 

Numbers 33:50-56 (NIV) ⁵⁰ On the plains of Moab by the Jordan across from Jericho the LORD said to Moses, ⁵¹ "Speak to the Israelites and say to them: 'When you cross the Jordan into Canaan, ⁵² drive out all the inhabitants of the land before you. Destroy all their carved images and their cast idols, and demolish all their high places. ⁵³ Take possession of the land and settle in it, for I have given you the land to possess. ⁵⁴ Distribute the land by lot, according to your clans. To a larger group give a larger inheritance, and to a smaller group a smaller one. Whatever falls to them by lot will be theirs. Distribute it according to your ancestral tribes.⁵⁵ " 'But if you do not drive out the inhabitants of the land, those you allow to remain will become barbs in your eyes and thorns in your sides. They will give you trouble in the land where you will live. ⁵⁶ And then I will do to you what I plan to do to them.' "

 

Why does God put such limitations on us? Ever heard the phrase "bad company corrupts good people"? If we hang around or get involved with certain people or things it takes us down a path that would destroy us. It would take us away from God and pull us into serving a false god. This is what compromise does...it dulls our senses so that we don't feel God's presence, or it makes us focus on us and our wants and desires, or it takes us away from God all together.

 

Compromise makes us weak, ineffective Christians when we should be walking in the "dunamis" Holy Spirit lead power promised that would be ours.....if we are walking with God, getting rid of all compromise and accepting that we have a path to follow. So where does that leave me? For me, there is no choice. It's time to get rid of all the compromise!

Over the past few days, I find myself reflecting on where I am and where I want to be....and I have to admit...my attitude sucks! I've been angry, hurt, lost, alone, scared, bitter, jealous and many other things...and I feel like I have been on one big emotional roller-coaster ride. But I have a feeling this this is exactly where God wanted me to be. I believe He wanted in place where He could bring all this yuck out of me so that I could find healing and deliverance from things that have been holding me back. I feel like poor ole Peter. He was with Jesus every day...He heard Jesus and saw all the miracles but when the push came to shove...Peter went on the roller-coaster. He denied Jesus...even though this is what Jesus said he would do! Then came anger, bitterness, hurt, humility and a whole bunch of other yuckies that made Peter realize what a stupid, hard-headed fool he had been. Humans are fickle, hard-headed, imperfect...but God loves us anyway! And in that love He holds Jesus up in front of us as a mirror and says, "take a good long look"....and that is when we go away into our closet and weep bitterly with tears of repentance...just like Peter. Once we come to that place...God has a lump of clay He can finally do something with..... God bless you!!! {reference - Luke 22}

I decided to create a list of goals that I want to achieve before September 18, 2010 - my 40th birthday.

1. Lose at least 50 pounds
2. Learn to love exercise again
3. Play at least 3 songs on the piano/keyboard
4. Be a Beachbody coach
5. Be more assertive

I'll probably add more to this list as we go along...who knows....but this is a starting place.

I think in alot of ways God is bringing me back to something I let go of along time ago.....and that is...back to myself. Many years ago, I died. I put everything I was, everything I wanted, everything I hope for, everything into a mental casket and buried it. I became what others wanted and I hurt. I mourned but didn't know I was mourning. Now....those things that I buried are being resurrected. I am being resurrected.....and it is freaking me out! I am getting more into this health and healing thing. I am seeing progress on my journey and I want to share what I am learning.....the only problem with that is it clashes with what others want and expect of me. And do you know what? I don't care! I am reaching a milestone this year and I still act like a 12 year old child by letting everyone dictate me and my life! This is another part of me that is changing and growing...and quite frankly, I like what I am changing into. Over the next few weeks, I have choices to make....choices that will effect the rest of my life....but I know it is something I have to do...it is the next step on the journey to freedom.

Reflecting upon my recent weight loss victory (losing 40 pounds in 3 months!), I am beginning to see the need to take my journey to the next level. I have to incorporate exercise. There is no way around it....but what I don't understand is my hesitation. Once upon a time, I loved exercise. I would escape into a world far away from my chaotic life, and exercise 4 to 6 hours per day. I maintained a weight of between 140 to 150. That was me....and I was NOT afraid of exercise. Now I am terrified to get moving, and I don't really know why. It is such a huge change. I look at this picture I see someone I don't know anymore....I see someone who looks happy and at peace with herself. Where did she go? Where did this fear of exercise come from? What exactly am I afraid of? My 40th birthday is less than 8 month away now....and I am setting goals....and allowing myself to dream about the "what ifs". I want to change. I want to be free. I want to be the person God wants me to be, and I don't want to feel like I am going to die at any moment! So what's the problem???? This is my next challenge on the journey to freedom.

Click to watch this awesome testimony of a young woman delivered from the porn industry!

I just want to say "THANK YOU" to everyone that participated in last nights broadcast over on Livestream.com!

We had an awesome time fellowshipping and praising God, and it just goes to show that God is using alot of different venues for reaching people with the Gospel. I am excited about this, and can't wait until next week!