Mission Freedom

The Roller-Coaster

Posted on February 4th, 2010

Over the past few days, I find myself reflecting on where I am and where I want to be….and I have to admit…my attitude sucks!

I’ve been angry, hurt, lost, alone, scared, bitter, jealous and many other things…and I feel like I have been on one big emotional roller-coaster ride. But I have a feeling this this is exactly where God wanted me to be. I believe He wanted in place where He could bring all this yuck out of me so that I could find healing and deliverance from things that have been holding me back.

I feel like poor ole Peter. He was with Jesus every day…He heard Jesus and saw all the miracles but when the push came to shove…Peter went on the roller-coaster. He denied Jesus…even though this is what Jesus said he would do! Then came anger, bitterness, hurt, humility and a whole bunch of other yuckies that made Peter realize what a stupid, hard-headed fool he had been.

Humans are fickle, hard-headed, imperfect…but God loves us anyway! And in that love He holds Jesus up in front of us as a mirror and says, “take a good long look”….and that is when we go away into our closet and weep bitterly with tears of repentance…just like Peter.

Once we come to that place…God has a lump of clay He can finally do something with…..

God bless you!!!

{reference – Luke 22}

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I’m Coming Back!

Posted on February 3rd, 2010

Yesterday I posted a video to TheRoseAwakens channel:

These past few month have been difficult…and in some ways these past 7 months has been a “trial of my faith”. It was a clearing and cleansing process…and it has been a time of being alone in the desert with God…discovering who and what I am.

As I said in the video, I feel like TheRoseAwakens is a shadow and a compromise…and in some ways…it was a step toward backsliding. I didn’t realize that at the time, but now as I look back and see how God kept me and sustained me….I have to give Him all the praise and the Glory for that!

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